you and me both sister...only problem mine is self inflicted, i think alot about how my actions have effected my family, and that its self has been a living hell for me,i know that i have distanced myself from the family because of guilt and shame and i know that it comes off as me not wanting to have anything to do with the family which is not the case, i just dont feel good enough about myself to be able to be comfortable around the family. hell is not knowing who you are.
Sending lots of love Russ. . . . . we (I) have no idea what your going through (ok, maybe an idea but). But most of us have felt self doubt, fear, pain, misunderstood, joy, rage, worthlessness, etc. We can understand this much of it to some degree. And its a struggle that is painful to go through to triumph on the other side because it requires me to change. I've been there unfortunately or fortunately. It was an opportunity.
I think your Awesome! And super talented! I think you can do anything you want to do. Maybe finding what you love and have passionate about is part of that struggle. But we can lift where we stand and find joy in life that has always been there. I fear those moments of insecureness I have felt that have pushed people away. I want them to leave. I'm ready to take my power back and for Satan to quit laughing at me. He can go to hell......he will never have what I have and he wants to take it from me. In my weakest moments I still have power over him!! I'm going to do this whether he likes it or not. Tomorrow is a new day, a clean slate......One day at a time. Pretty soon its been a week, a month, and I am making it. Fear not!
A living hell......
ReplyDeleteyou and me both sister...only problem mine is self inflicted, i think alot about how my actions have effected my family, and that its self has been a living hell for me,i know that i have distanced myself from the family because of guilt and shame and i know that it comes off as me not wanting to have anything to do with the family which is not the case, i just dont feel good enough about myself to be able to be comfortable around the family. hell is not knowing who you are.
ReplyDeleteSending lots of love Russ. . . . . we (I) have no idea what your going through (ok, maybe an idea but). But most of us have felt self doubt, fear, pain, misunderstood, joy, rage, worthlessness, etc. We can understand this much of it to some degree. And its a struggle that is painful to go through to triumph on the other side because it requires me to change. I've been there unfortunately or fortunately. It was an opportunity.
ReplyDeleteI think your Awesome! And super talented! I think you can do anything you want to do. Maybe finding what you love and have passionate about is part of that struggle. But we can lift where we stand and find joy in life that has always been there. I fear those moments of insecureness I have felt that have pushed people away. I want them to leave. I'm ready to take my power back and for Satan to quit laughing at me. He can go to hell......he will never have what I have and he wants to take it from me. In my weakest moments I still have power over him!! I'm going to do this whether he likes it or not. Tomorrow is a new day, a clean slate......One day at a time. Pretty soon its been a week, a month, and I am making it. Fear not!